From ‘It’ To ‘Thou’
How to Know If You're Following the Real Jesus (And What He Says About Broken Relationships)
It's easy to think we're following Jesus while actually following a version of Him shaped by our politics, culture, or personal preferences. This is one of the most honest and uncomfortable questions a Christian can sit with. Jesus's Sermon on the Mount has a way of cutting through all of that, and one passage in particular gets right to the heart of how we treat the people we're in conflict with.
How Do We Know If We're Following the Real Jesus?
There is a real gap between us and the Jesus described in Scripture. We want to understand Him, but we come to the Bible filtered through layers of influence: our own brokenness, our church tradition, our culture, our politics, and the tribes we belong to.
Scholars call it eisegesis, a Greek word meaning we press our own assumptions into the text rather than letting the text speak to us. We impose our ideologies onto Scripture instead of letting Scripture shape us.
One honest test: does the Jesus of the Gospels ever surprise you? Does He ever say something that doesn't fit neatly into what you hear from your political side, your social circle, or even your own instincts? If He never surprises or unsettles you, that's worth examining.
Why the Sermon on the Mount Is the Best Place to Start
Jesus's Sermon on the Mount is where He right-sizes everything. He announces that the culture of heaven is breaking into earth, and He begins describing what His people actually look like. It's often upside down from what we expect.
The least are the greatest. The immoral receive forgiveness. The religious miss the banquet. The pious receive curses. As one writer put it, things aren't the way we expect them to be. We're baffled, perplexed, amazed.
That surprise is actually a sign you're engaging with the real Jesus. He is both the one who says "come to me if you're weary" and the one who offends, disrupts, and upends the way we see the world.
What Does Jesus Say About Anger and Broken Relationships?
In Matthew 5, Jesus makes a statement that stops most people in their tracks:
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,' is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." - Matthew 5:21-22
He then says something even more striking. If you bring a gift to the altar and remember that someone has something against you, leave the gift. Go and be reconciled first. Then come back and worship.
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:23-24
Jesus is saying He would rather you walk out of church and go fix a broken relationship than stay and worship while leaving that relationship unaddressed.
Why Does Jesus Put Such a High Price on Our Relationships With Each Other?
God at His core is relational. The triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, exists in relationship. That relational nature overflows into all of creation. Right relationship with one another reflects the very heart of who God is.
When two people who both belong to Jesus are in conflict, it grieves Him. He loves both people. He has forgiven both. But the division between them compromises the fullness of what He wants for them and with them.
Jesus also knows how these things escalate. Seeds become trees. Trees bear fruit. Poisonous fruit drops more seeds.
How Anger Grows Into Something Much Worse
Jesus traces a clear progression in this passage. It starts with anger, which is not inherently sinful. Emotions are designed by God. They are great messengers. But they are not great masters.
Anger tells you something is at risk, something you hold dear feels threatened or violated. The problem is when we let it take root. Anger becomes contempt. Contempt becomes dehumanization. We start calling people names, dismissing them as worthless or idiotic.
Jesus points out that the genocide in Rwanda followed this exact pattern. Extreme Hutus called Tutsis cockroaches on national radio. What starts as a seed of anger in a personal relationship, if left unchecked, can scale into something catastrophic. He is not being dramatic. He is being precise.
How Social Media and Modern Culture Feed Our Anger
Jesus's audience didn't have social media. We do. And the platforms we use are designed to exploit two things about how we're wired: we are more alert to threat than to opportunity, and we have a natural curiosity gap that makes alarming headlines irresistible.
Every notification, every breaking alert, every fundraising email is engineered to keep us in a state of low-grade outrage. It doesn't matter which side of the political aisle you're on. The algorithm treats you as a means to an end, not as a person with dignity.
The philosopher Martin Buber described this as treating people as an "it" rather than a "thou." An "it" is something to be used, leveraged, or categorized. A "thou" is someone made in the image of God, deserving of dignity and respect regardless of their opinions or where they fall on any spectrum.
Are You Turning People Into an "It"?
Here are a few honest signs that someone has become an "it" to you rather than a "thou":
You can't allow anything good to be true about them.
You can't want good things for them.
You can't celebrate or allow others to celebrate the good in them around you.
This can happen with a former spouse, a political opponent, a neighbor with a different yard sign, or someone in your own church. The moment a person becomes fully categorized in your mind, they've shifted from a thou to an it.
And Jesus says: move quickly. Deal with it at the seed level, before it takes root, before it grows branches, before it drops more seeds into the next generation.
Life Application
Think of one person in your life where things aren't right. Maybe there's distance, estrangement, or a wound that hasn't healed. This week, take one concrete step toward that person. It doesn't have to be a full reconciliation. It might be a prayer, a text, a phone call, or reaching out to a counselor who can help you navigate it. The point is to move, and to move quickly, before the seed goes any deeper.
Ask yourself these questions as you go:
Have I turned this person into an "it"? Do I see them as someone made in the image of God, or as a category, a label, or a problem?
Is there anger in me that I've been calling something else, like being right, being justified, or just being done?
Am I willing to let the Jesus of the Gospels, not the Jesus of my preferences, shape how I handle this relationship?
What would it look like to go first, even if I believe I'm the one who was wronged?
The God of heaven sees you, because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, as a "thou." Not an "it." Not a category. A person fully known and fully loved. The invitation this week is to go and do the same for someone else.
Setlist
WFC Lenexa + WFC Anywhere
Praise - Elevation Worship
The Blood - Bethel Worship
Christ Be Magnified - Cody Carnes
WFC Speedway
Breakthrough - Red Rocks Worship
Jesus Be The Name - Elevation Worship
Worthy - Mack Brock
Be sure to save our Spotify Worship Playlist, updated weekly with the upcoming Sunday’s set!
