Letter From My Future Self - Choose To Forgive

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Teaching Notes

Choose to Forgive: Why Letting Go Sets You Free

Life has a way of teaching us hard lessons, and one of the most important lessons we'll ever learn is the power of forgiveness. If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say? One crucial message would be simple: choose to forgive, and choose to let it go quickly.

Why Forgiveness Matters in Our Faith

Forgiveness was central to Jesus' ministry and teaching. In fact, one could argue that the main reason Jesus came to earth was to offer forgiveness for the sins of the entire world through His sacrifice on the cross. When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, He placed forgiveness right at the heart of the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12).

Jesus made a striking statement about forgiveness: "If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15). This doesn't mean our salvation depends on our ability to forgive others - we're saved by grace through faith. Rather, it reveals a fundamental truth: forgiven people forgive people.

What Does It Mean to Experience Pain in Life?

No one makes it through life without getting hurt. When we're young, most of our pain is external - scraped knees, broken bones, physical injuries. But as we grow older, we discover that internal pain cuts much deeper than external wounds.

We experience rejection, betrayal, heartbreak, and wounds from those closest to us. Sometimes our own mistakes become the source of our greatest pain. The reality is that those we love most have the greatest capacity to cause pain in our lives.

What Forgiveness Is NOT

Before we can understand true forgiveness, we need to clear up some common misconceptions:

Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting

The phrase "forgive and forget" sounds nice, but it's not realistic. Your brain isn't biologically wired to forget traumatic experiences. Being able to forget isn't a prerequisite for choosing to forgive.

Forgiveness Is Not Excusing Bad Behavior

Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying what they did was okay. The hurt was real, the pain was deep, and the behavior was wrong.

Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Reconciliation

While forgiveness makes reconciliation possible, they're not the same thing. There are situations where reconciliation isn't possible or safe, but forgiveness can still happen.

Forgiveness Doesn't Require an Apology

You can choose to forgive someone whether or not they ever apologize or acknowledge their wrongdoing. Forgiveness is about your choice to release the hurt, not their response.

Forgiveness Is Not a Feeling

Forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. Feelings should follow your choices, not the other way around. If you wait to "feel" forgiving, you may never forgive.

Forgiveness Is Not Fair

Forgiveness isn't about getting justice or making things right. It's about choosing to let go of the pain, whether or not the situation ever gets resolved.

What Is True Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a deliberate choice to release your resentment, bitterness, anger, or hatred towards someone who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve it or not.

Forgiveness is not dependent on the other person. Jesus forgave His murderers, and not a single one of them apologized. His forgiveness wasn't dependent on their repentance - it was a choice He made to release them from His resentment.

How Does Unforgiveness Affect Us?

Think of life's wounds like nails. Some are small hurts that feel big in the moment but heal over time. Others are deep, traumatic wounds that lodge themselves into our souls. When we hold onto these painful experiences, we're essentially reopening the wounds repeatedly, never allowing them to heal properly.

Forgiveness is the only way the pain of your past stops controlling your future.

When we refuse to forgive, we become prisoners of our own resentment. We carry heavy chains that weigh down our souls, affect our relationships, and steal our peace. Unforgiveness doesn't serve us - it imprisons us.

What Does Jesus Teach About Forgiveness?

In Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who wrongs him. Peter suggested seven times, thinking he was being generous (since rabbinical tradition taught forgiving three times). Jesus responded, "Not seven times, but seventy-seven times" - essentially saying there's no limit to forgiveness.

Jesus then told the parable of the unforgiving servant. A servant owed his king an impossible debt - roughly $4.8 billion in today's currency. The king forgave this massive debt completely. But then that same servant went out and had a man thrown in prison for owing him about $4,000.

When the king heard about this, he was furious. He had extended incredible mercy, expecting the servant to become a conduit of mercy to others. Instead, the servant hoarded the forgiveness he received and refused to extend it to others.

Why Should We Choose to Forgive?

The Bible tells us that "a stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but resentment is heavier than both" (Proverbs 27:3). Here's why forgiveness is essential:

1. Resentment is a heavy burden that weighs down your soul

2. Unforgiveness is paralyzing - it keeps you stuck in the past

3. Unforgiveness is unhealthy - research shows it affects us physically and mentally

4. Unforgiveness becomes a prison of our own making

5. Unforgiveness spreads to other relationships in our lives

How Do We Actually Forgive?

Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. Here are practical steps:

1. Acknowledge the offense - Name what happened and recognize it was real

2. Release the offender - Choose to let them go from the prison of your resentment

3. Grieve the pain - It's okay to feel and process the hurt

4. Seek reconciliation if possible - But remember, forgiveness can happen without it

5. Receive forgiveness for yourself first - Understanding God's forgiveness of you enables you to forgive others

Life Application

This week, identify one person or situation you need to forgive. Remember that forgiveness is the doorway to healing - it's not the same as healing itself, but it's where the journey begins. Choose to release that person from the prison of your resentment, not for their sake, but for your own freedom.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. What "nails" from your past are you still carrying that need to be released?

2. How has unforgiveness affected your relationships and peace of mind?

3. What would change in your life if you truly understood the depth of God's forgiveness toward you?

4. Who do you need to forgive this week, and what's the first step you can take toward that forgiveness?

Remember: forgiven people forgive people. When we truly grasp the magnitude of what God has forgiven us, extending forgiveness to others becomes not just possible, but natural. Choose to forgive - your future self will thank you.

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Setlist

WFC Lenexa + WFC Anywhere

I Know A Name - Elevation Worship
Another One - Mac DeMarco
Bless God - Brooke Ligertwood
Jesus Paid It All - Worship Circle

WFC Speedway

Glorious Day - Passion, Kristian Stanfill
Faith & Wonder - Meridith Andrews
O Come To The Alter - Elevation Worship

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